If you are searching for how to save your marriage, fix a broken marriage, or how to mend a broken marriage, we got you covered. Divorce is bad for the husband, bad for wife, and very bad for children. It must be avoided at all cost. There is no difference that is irreconcilable. The term is only applied when there is so much hatred between the couples involved, and when lots of ugly things got to a boiling point where everyone is ready and about to explode without reservation. Irreconcilable differences is a phrase we hear everyday whenever a marriage breaks down and couples couldn’t hold it any longer. They tear out the marriage contract, face different directions when sleeping, go separate ways, got into nasty kids custody battle and blame it on irreconcilable differences.
Love is a commitment and partnership that brings two perfect strangers together, and despite their differences, they agree to love each other and live together till the end. However, lovers often became too intoxicated in love that they tend to do anything and say whatever, all in name of love to win their partners heart but, soon after saying I do, true identity, true love and true self starts to emerge and then the lovers starts to realize that it was only a wishful thinking. Then, they start to realize that they have made life mistakes by committing to someone they are not compatible with and should not have been with at the first place. The reality is that most marriages fail even before getting started.
Most of the couples just manage to hold on to the broken marriage just to keep their families and friends happy. Some couples who already had kids just hang on and pretend things are fine just to make their children and their parents happy and proud. Try to learn how to save your marriage, how to fix a broken marriage, how to repair a marriage because, if you don’t, nobody will do it for you, and your enemies will only sit back and laugh as your marriage crumbles.
The irony of it all is that some people actually do not intend to tie the nut with anybody but only do so just to answer somebody’s family name and avoid the stigma of been called ugly names or just want to enjoy the status of been regarded as a married fellow. However, what actually are those irreconcilable differences? Based on general point of view, they are those intimate and sexual inequalities that exist between couples that they felt so ashamed or not comfortable to shear with anybody. They kept it as a top secret among themselves until boiling point.
No matter how the society or couples pretend, the make or break of every marriage or relationship is sexual intercourse and maximum satisfaction in bed, but when that is not happening, that marriage is doomed and will eventually fail no matter how the couples pretend that everything is fine. Here we are going to share without reservations some of those hidden secrets that couples must fix to repair a broken marriage. Here are serious relationship advice and problems that you must fixed to avoid divorce and save your marriage.
Relationship Advice And Problems That Must Be Fixed To Avoid Divorce
1. Inactive in Bed
If you are weak, boring and not active in bed, your partner starts to look else where for a maximum sexual satisfaction. Days of our grand parents are gone when things are done in old fashioned ways. The advent of internet and mobile phone has changed the way everything is done including intercourse. Social media now teaches everything online including how to satisfy your partner in bed. Though it’s generally believed that anybody who knows how to dance must be good in bed. However, some people are extremely boring and just a mere dead wood in bed. Men generally prefers very active women who knows how to satisfy their men and women also prefers hot men who knows how to satisfy them. It’s a balanced action. When any partner becomes inactive, the other starts to look else where for satisfaction hence the relationship starts to fall apart. Try to fix this issue at the early stage of your relationship or your marriage will fail even before it gets started.
READ MORE – Ways to Strengthen a Marriage and Avoid Divorce
When one partner is not satisfied sexually in bed, infidelity comes to play. He/she starts to look outside for sexual satisfaction and that means death to their marriage as all the differences now becomes irreconcilable.
3. Family Involvement
Some lovely parents are so inquisitive and concerned about their daughter or son even after getting married and left the house. Sometimes, that parental care gets out of fashion, specially when the parents wanted to know how the couples live and manage their homes. When in-laws and other extended families started to get involved in the couples day to day lives, your partner might not like that hence creates issues that led your partner to work out of the marriage. You should not let your family get so close and too much involved in your married life.
4. Impotency or Inability to Bear Children
Well, this is something natural that comes out after marriage and some people cannot handle or bear it hence, the marriage collapse soon after it gets started. Most men likes to have children after marriage, at least to prove and make their parents and families happy, and women on the other hand, likes to have children and live active sexual life with their husband. Therefore, it becomes a big problem if the man is Impotent or the wife is not able to bear children. If this happens, try to reach amicable solution as early as possible after trying different alternatives.
5. Work And Home Balances
A perfect married life is a situation where the couples have a balanced work and home schedules. In a situation where both couples are working, one should not leave the home works solely on the other or that would create grudges and some kind of fighting and hatred.
READ MORE – 7 Strong Steps to Stop a Divorce
6. Outside Friendships
One of the first changes for newly married couples is to learn how to adjust with friends. Its no longer party all night when you say I Do. You have to chose which friends to keep, and those to drop so your marriage would not be affected in any way by bad friendships. Your friends must know that you are married, so you can mingle easily and leave them whenever you want. You must be home on time to take care of your family if you are working.
7. Height Issues
Believe it or not, height plays a significant role in most relationship specially, when the woman is taller than the man. Most men are not comfortable walking side by side in a public place with a woman taller than them. They feel dwarfed, intimidated , hence low self esteem. If you are a woman and taller than your man, let him understand that height is never an issue and would never be.
8. Debt Issues
One of the most difficult problems facing couples is getting married only to discover later that your partner has a heavy debt hanging on his/her neck. Don’t burst out your cherished marriage because of debt, make alternative arrangements with your partner on how to settle it gradually without affecting your family expenses.
SEE ALSO – How to Save a Marriage
When couples don’t talk with each other, an irreconcilable difference is developing and would soon expand to other areas. Constant communication is very vital in every relationship. Couples must have to develop a pattern to get messages across each other’s imaginations.
10. Individual Way Of Life
When you get married, your personal habits are divided into two parts, one for your partner and the other for yourself. Your personal habit changes right after you say I DO. However, if you stick to your way of life, there might be a conflict of interest and opinion with your partner. Share all you got with your partner because two becomes one when you got married.
READ MORE – How to Avoid Divorce, According to Science
11. No Satisfaction
Some men cannot hold on for long hence cannot satisfy her and the women hates that. Though its hard to offer full satisfaction when there are issues. The duty of every husband is to satisfy his wife whenever she wants to play. If you are a man, try to learn the secrets of satisfying a women, because when that satisfaction is not there, she starts to look elsewhere. However, if you are a woman, try to learn how to understand your husband and help him out.
12. Political Views
Politics is one of the destroyers of marriages. However, it’s also something couples cannot do without specially in a developed environment where it is the other of the day. It’s not uncommon for couples to have different political views, what is important is how they drive home their views not to harm the interest of their partner. Though its impossible to prevent, but when couples share different political views, it surely affects the relationship. But nothing is set on stone, love changes everything and opinions could be changed.
13. Children Discipline
Here come a harder part. Father is a disciplinarian and mother is a care free who want her kids to have freedom to do whatever they want. This might ignite some conflict when a woman sees her baby been manhandled by her husband all in the name of discipline. The way children are brought up decides their future. Parents should have plans on how to bring up kids, and who should play more roll.
14. Desperate For Freedom
Most couples are just trapped in a chaotic and troubled relationship and wanted out no matter what. They claim that the reason they are divorcing is due to irreconcilable differences. I do not seem to buy that notion, because all man made difficult issues are all reconcilable if the couples really loved each other and likes to fix any problem that comes along. Its only a matter of finding a solution, talking and forgiving each other of what ever they have done wrong. However, couples who really hated each other with passion, also blames irreconcilable differences just to buy a new freedom to re-enter the singles dating market.
15. As a Game Plan
Some people uses irreconcilable differences only as a game plan for an easy get away to become single again. When couples got into marital problems, and one partner wants to leave to test something new or maybe better, then irreconcilable differences comes in between. Invariably, its only a game plan to formally divorce and discharge the other partner, while deep inside he/she is really very happy to finalize the divorce and separation and be free again.
READ MORE – Clever Hacks That Can Actually Prevent Divorce
16. Desire to be Independent
When couples blindly tie the nut without understanding the basic principles of marriage, the urge to be free again and get out of the mistake comes up shortly after saying I do.
17. Getting Attracted to Another Person
To some couples, waking up in the morning seeing the same old face is very boring especially if there is no attraction in their relationship and soon after, one starts to get attracted to someone they meet in parties, office, street, online etc. When the love dies, attraction and every other thing dies with it.
SEE ALSO – Signs You Need to Let Go of a Bad Marriage
18. Less Attracted to the Person in a Sexual Way
When the love becomes so boring and weaknesses starts to pump up, couples become less attracted to each other even when naked. They loose interest in each other and making love only becomes an obligation.
19. Lack of Proper Body Maintenance
Soon after marriage, some couples stopped all basic hygiene and simple exercise and quickly became too fat and out of shape thinking after all they are already married and not in the dating process anymore but only to realize later that their partner is no longer interested in them.
20. Conflict in Tastes and Desires
Yes some couples are completely perfect strangers that should never be married at the first place. They have nothing in common when it comes to taste and even desire for any smallest thing in their house or anywhere. Some couples have high taste while others are low maintenance.
21. Continuous Nagging
Yes, Some women are born sarcastic and keep nagging their husbands to extreme and some men are too hard and never satisfied with anything the wife does, the couples only found solace at their offices, with friends, etc and shortly their relationship hit rock and goes sour as they part ways.
22. Comparing the Man or Woman to Others Constantly
When there is dissatisfaction of any sought especially incompetent in bed, there will be urge to test something different and a partner starts to compare the other to someone they met at parties, social gathering, events etc. Such constant comparison will eventually compel the couple to try something different.
23. Addiction to Alcohol or Drugs
The darkest side of blind marriage is that some partners pretend to be cool and clean of every addiction just to win the love of other partner but it would not be long before true colors and perils starts to emerge, then other partner discovered that he/she married an alcoholic and drug addict. Love and relationship or rather marriage never thrive with an alcoholic and drug addict.
24. Deterioration in the Health of One Spouse or Suffering from Incurable Ailments
One of the unfortunate situations in marriage is when the health of the other partner deteriorates or suffering from incurable ailments. Though the agony of it is, if the partner contacted the incurable ailment through solicited sex or drug usage then other partner has no choice but to pack his/her bags and say goodbye to the marriage irrespective of how strong it might seem to be.
25. Physical and Mental Abuse and Exhibiting Sadistic Tendencies
Some men are really hard and has no soft spot for their wife. They go wild, furious and sadistic over every smallest thing and that tendency scares off his wife as she has no choice but to run for her life.
26. Sarcastic and Nagging
Relatively, some women are born sarcastic and keep nagging their husbands to extreme to the extent that the only thing that stops them is a hot spank and some men really does that.
27. We Just Fell Out of Love
When nothing seemed to be working sexually, believe it or not, couples fell out of love. Though they hide the feeling within themselves as they maybe ashamed to share it with families or friends.
28. He Cheated, She Cheated
He cheated or she cheated, this is only an alibi by couples who’s relationship has failed internally and one partner looking for alternative way out. When there is no other proven fault to dump the relationship, one starts to accuse the other of cheating just to create an avenue to go test something new.
SEE ALSO – Ways To Avoid Divorce And Save Your Marriage
29. He Lied About Something
Who never lied about something. Can anyone tell me who never lied about something in the past. This is again an alibi purported when a couple finds someone new and wants to end his/her marriage in other to start a new love.
30. We Were Always Fighting and Realized We Shouldn’t be Together
Fighting is a result of unplanned marriage by two perfect strangers who shouldn’t be together at the first place but, were blindfolded by love at first sight attractions. The differences should have been resolved before saying I do.
READ MORE – How to Avoid Divorce
31. He Wasn’t Very Ambitious When it Came to His Career
Again, this is not a point to consider when it comes to divorce or separation. This is only an alibi and part of a game plan just to get rid of the other partner because career ambition is something that could be fixed at any point of the relationship.
32. He Didn’t Get Along With My Friends and Family
Love comes first before friends and family, and he is not marrying your friends or your partner. This is just a mere alibi to leave your partner when the love is already doomed and heading no where.
SEE ALSO – How to Prevent Unnecessary Divorce
33. Communication Problems
When couples, sleeping on the same bed stopped talking with each other, a major problem has developed and the only way to avoid physical abuse is to keep quiet. Then, only available means of communication is through the kids.
34. Marrying for a Purpose
Whether you agree on this or not, some marriages are just designed to serve a purpose – either to get rich, to become popular, to belong to a class, to get a unique family name and more. Such marriage never last as things will falling apart soon after the purpose is known. If the purpose was for money as in many cases, the whole thing crumbles when the money stops flowing.
Abusing and trying to control your partner is a recipe for disaster because things would soon got out of control and before you know it, someone is hospitalized with bruises. In a relationship where one partner wants to control the other, it is termed abusive and no one wants to be abused or controlled in a house where things should be balanced. The after effect is a daily fight.
36. Sexual Behavior
Couples due enjoy great amount of sexual excitement when newly married. however, that excitement starts to dwindle and the urge and arousal diminishes as they get old. Sexual acts becomes a rare occurrence. One partner may want it on daily basis and the other doesn’t. It becomes a big issue and not many partners take this for granted and it always result in fighting and accusations of infidelity. Though in a way, some partners actually likes to test something new and different, and that ignites fight
when other partner finds out.
37. Too Proud
Some people really would like to compare themselves to God, trying to portray that they are too good in everything. They assume that whatever they touched turns to gold, whatever they do or say is the best. Such act is too bad in a relationship and will definitely lead to internal fight and mistrust. When you are too proud and thinks you are too good, you isolate yourself from others and from your partner in particular.
38. Not Reaching Your Potential
Reaching that potential in life is everyone’s dream. However, some people get married along the line and could not get to where they wanted to be in life. Whenever there is a slightest argument, they blame the marriage and felt it is holding them back from achieving their full potential. That’s too bad in a relationship because it only makes the other partner feel kind of guilty.
39. Is Your Marriage Fake or Real?
To some couples, the only sign of marriage in them is the ring. There is no commitment and there is no love. They took off their wedding rings and hide in the pocket or bags whenever they meet a new potential lover. Such fake marriage never last and soon the secret would be discovered, hence fighting starts. Instead of fighting, they should try to fix the broken marriage.
READ MORE – Common divorce mistakes to avoid
40. Different Priorities
When people got married, priorities in life should change to get in line with their partner. But the problem starts when you still stick to your old life style and priorities, not minding your partner’s likes and dislikes.
If you are a boss in your office and tries to apply the bossy altitude in your relationship by trying to force your partner to do things, you are not only destroying your relationship but, your entire life. Your partner will only trash you.
42. Cultural Differences
No matter how we pretend this doesn’t exist in a relationship, culture plays a significant roll in a relationship that involves two people from different cultural backgrounds. In a marriage where such culture is not identified and respected properly, they will always argue and fight over little things.
In conclusion, perfect strangers should be left alone to discover each other, learn about each other, play with each other, fall in love with each other before saying I do with each other. Forcing a man or woman to love and marry with a perfect stranger is suicidal and such marriage fails even before it gets started. It’s impossible not to have differences as humans are created differently with different opinions and thoughts. It’s how we deal and manage those differences that matters to couples having marital issues. However, in a situation where irreconcilable differences can’t be reconciled, instead of fighting and destroying the kids emotions, couples should call it quit amicably to give peace a chance and start all over. Generally, divorce is bad for everybody and extremely worse for the kids. Divorce ruins and destroys all attributes of Love and marriage and should be avoided at all cost.